HOW TO SURVIVE - AND (GOD FORBID!) EVEN ENJOY - A PROFESSIONAL MASSAGE.
By: Maddie Ruud
© 2007 Maddie Ruud

Massage is an ancient healing art, well-proven over the years, yet it is only recently that Western medicine has started to recognize the documentable health benefits. It's taken those men in white coats years poring over reams of statistics to conclude what we, as women, knew instinctively all along: touch is good. Go figure. The problem arises, that, women as we are, we have a certain insecurity about our bodies that makes us more than a little bit hesitant about getting naked and letting a stranger rub us down with oils. So, in the typically feminine spirit of self-improvement, I have laid out a 5-point plan for overcoming this fear, and coming out better for it on the other side, if not the highly publicized, ever elusive "New Woman."

Step One: Find a Massage Therapist. This seems pretty straightforward... until you actually set about doing it. Then, the sheer numbers of options seem overwhelming. Do you walk into your local full service salon and book an appointment? You never know what you're going to get, and unlike inside a box of chocolates, there are those massages you wish you'd never bit into. Yellow pages? Don't go there, sister, unless you're looking for a different kind of "full service!" And answering an online ad... well, we all know how smart that is. Really, the only way to assure quality, is to find an individual professional with a reputation for good work. Among massage therapists, word of mouth is well-known as the most effective marketing tool in the business; make this work for you. As soon as you put the intention into the universe, you'd be surprised what comes back to you, a sort of karmic boomerang, so to speak.

Step Two: Make the first appointment. Do it before you can't get out of bed in the morning. WELL before. Do it before you even feel that twinge in your neck flaring up again. It's important, in case a sudden cramp or chronic pain occurs, that you have a professional on board who has a baseline knowledge of your body. And, as with any memberr of your health care team, good communication and rapport play a integral part in dictating how effective your treatment will be. Feel free, upon booking, to ask about credentials, experience, and personal philosophy. This is, don't forget, about you.

Step Three: Show up. For obvious reasons, this is a vital step, without which, all others are rendered futile. You are paying for this service with hard-earned dollars, no need to pay in anxiety as well. The therapist needs your continuing business, so be forthcoming about what you want out of the session. If you're not comfortable talking about your body with her, how do you expect to get through an hour of her hands on it? Let alone get any benefits from it... and that was the original purpose of this visit, back when it still seemed like a good idea.

Step Four: Relax; the most difficult of the four, this step, if you manage it successfully, also proves the most rewarding. Of course, there's a catch. Work too hard at it, and the whole thing backfires. You end up so stressed over not stressing out that you leave more tense than you came in! Breathing is always good. Count the seconds as you inhale, and try to exhale for twice that number. Instead of trying to transcend your body, focus on being within it, on the sensations where the therapist's hands meet your skin. A good therapist will check in periodically about the pressure of her touch, whether or not you might like more or less, but don't hesitate to speak up for yourself. It is (shall I say it again?) about you.

Step Five: Refuse to feel guilty. We're all so used to doing what's good for us being unpleasant... (Think: when you heard that wearing anti-perspirant might cause breast cancer, exactly how many seconds did it take you to decide that, actually, you're willing to risk it? And that new tea? Did you even succeed in choking down a full cup before you chucked the entire box?) But, believe it or not, there are enjoyable ways to benefit your health, without triggering your gag reflex, OR creating an embarrassing odor that follows wherever you go. And that's good news for everyone involved.